last night i dreamt i was so very far away. it was incredibly real, vivid, beautiful. and i was so happy to be so very far, so unbelievably far, away. and yet i’ve woken here. to harsh and dour realities. i despise this town. this place. i have found life so meaningless. and why must i endure?
i kinda just want to give up.. but i don’t know how to give up even more than i already have..
it does not get better.. haha!
oh hi, lower than rock-bottom.. haa
please life..mock me more
im so very poor at livin. they say dyin’s to easy, so i should fear it. must get life together. ive fallen off the wagon. it hurts. so i drink too much. i drink too much. a hangover and no coffee. another hangover.
my sister is visiting from brasil. we’re meeting up tomorrow. I guess I should pretend to have purpose and some sort of life plan..lolol
it’s ok though, im relatively talented at telling people what they want to hear. hehe
I haven’t seen them in like three years I think..that’s pretty crazy..
we’ve probably spoken twice that entire time..but I mean she’s got a family, a job saving the world.. we’re not that close I guess..I think it’s gonna be weird. .
im not sure there’s any point to this narrative. .haha
"my mind is blown, but it’s my own"
i’ll probably die soon